Will Rogers - Quotes 1-100
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
Will Rogers
You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
Will Rogers
Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain't saying anything.
Will Rogers
The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?
Will Rogers
The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.
Will Rogers
Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.
Will Rogers
Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you do not know when it is through if you are a crook or a martyr.
Will Rogers
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
Will Rogers
The Republicans have their splits right after an election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.
Will Rogers
I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.
Will Rogers
Things will get better - despite our efforts to improve them.
Will Rogers
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
Will Rogers
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Will Rogers
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
Will Rogers
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
Will Rogers
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
Will Rogers
Never miss a chance to shut up.
Will Rogers
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
Will Rogers
One revolution is like one cocktail; it just gets you organized for the next.
Will Rogers
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.
Will Rogers
I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.
Will Rogers
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
Will Rogers
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.
Will Rogers
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
Will Rogers
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.
Will Rogers
Diplomacy is the art of saying, 'Nice doggie!'... until you can find a rock.
Will Rogers
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
Will Rogers
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
Will Rogers
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Will Rogers
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
Will Rogers
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
Will Rogers
The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.
Will Rogers
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
Will Rogers
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. It will belong to the select few.
Will Rogers
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
Will Rogers
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
Will Rogers
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
Will Rogers
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.
Will Rogers
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
Will Rogers
No party is as bad as its leaders.
Will Rogers
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
Will Rogers
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
Will Rogers
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.
Will Rogers
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
Will Rogers
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Will Rogers
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
Will Rogers
Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
Will Rogers
One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials.
Will Rogers
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
Will Rogers
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
Will Rogers
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this,' and they didn't, they got worse.
Will Rogers
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
Will Rogers
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
Will Rogers
If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
Will Rogers
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Will Rogers
That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.
Will Rogers
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
Will Rogers
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
Will Rogers
I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything... but good.
Will Rogers
Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
Will Rogers
Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
Will Rogers
Lord, let me live until I die.
Will Rogers
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Will Rogers
The world ain't going to be saved by nobody's scheme. It's fellows with schemes that got us into this mess. Plans can get you into things but you have to work your way out.
Will Rogers
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
Will Rogers
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
Will Rogers
It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
Will Rogers
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
Will Rogers
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Will Rogers
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
Will Rogers
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
Will Rogers
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
Will Rogers
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
Will Rogers
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
Will Rogers
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
Will Rogers
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
Will Rogers
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.
Will Rogers
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
Will Rogers
A fool and his money are soon elected.
Will Rogers
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'
Will Rogers
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
Will Rogers
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Will Rogers
Things ain't what they used to be and never were.
Will Rogers
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on Senators.
Will Rogers
There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
Will Rogers
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
Will Rogers
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
Will Rogers
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
Will Rogers
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
Will Rogers
So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.
Will Rogers
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Will Rogers
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
Will Rogers
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
Will Rogers
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Will Rogers
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's memoirs.
Will Rogers
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
Will Rogers
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
Will Rogers
