Will Rogers - Quotes 101-200
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Will Rogers
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
Will Rogers
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
Will Rogers
Men gave women the right to vote but never meant for them to take it seriously. But being women they took the wrong meaning and did.
Will Rogers
Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
Will Rogers
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
Will Rogers
All there is to politics is trading. That's why politics is not as good as it was years ago. They don't have as many old-time horse traders in there.
Will Rogers
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
Will Rogers
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers
These baccalaureate addresses given to graduates don't offer 'em much encouragement outside of advising 'em to vote the straight Republican ticket.
Will Rogers
The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
Will Rogers
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
Will Rogers
The Ways and Means Committee is supposed to find ways to divide up the means.
Will Rogers
There is no race of people in the world that can compete with a senator for talking. If I went to the Senate, I couldn't talk fast enough to answer roll call.
Will Rogers
It won't be no time until some woman will become so desperate politically and lose all prospectus of right and wrong and maybe go from bad to worse and finally wind up in the Senate.
Will Rogers
The more I see of politics the more I wonder what in the world any man would ever want to take it up for. Then some people wonder why the best men of a community are not the office holders.
Will Rogers
Nothing will upset a state economic condition like a legislature. It's better to have termites in your house than the legislature.
Will Rogers
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. They are always yapping about 'public service.' It's public jobs that they are looking for.
Will Rogers
The Democrats are having a lot of fun exposing the Republican campaign corruptions, but they would have a lot more fun if they knew where they could lay their hands on some of it themselves for next November.
Will Rogers
I guess our country holds the record for dumbness. The Pope spoke to the world this morning in three languages and we didn't understand a one of 'em. But the minute he finished and the local stations got back to selling corn salve and pyorrhea toothpaste we were right up our intellectual alley again.
Will Rogers
The farmers starve three years out of four but the good year is always election year. It really looks like the Lord was in cahoots with the Republicans, but if He is that would make you almost lose faith in Him.
Will Rogers
Everybody in Washington seems to be apologizing to each other. In Washington they just generally figure that one hatred offsets the other and they are both even.
Will Rogers
When some nation wants us to help 'em out they use the same old 'gag,' that we should exert our 'moral leadership' and, like a yap, believe it, when, as a matter of truth, no nation wants any other nation exerting a 'moral leadership' over 'em even if they had one.
Will Rogers
I have looked politics and the movies both over and, while they have much in common I believe politics is the most common, so I will stay with the movies.
Will Rogers
Shrewdness in public life all over the world is always honored, while honesty in public men is generally attributed to dumbness and is seldom rewarded.
Will Rogers
Been reading Sunday's casualty lists from automobiles. It looks like everybody gets run over but Presidential candidates. Is there no justice in the world?
Will Rogers
Congress can pass a bad law and as soon as the old Normal Majority finds it out they have it scratched off the book.
Will Rogers
Nations will give up their lives (even cheer about it). They will give up their money in order to give up their lives, but to ask one to give up their trade to prevent a war, well, that has never been done.
Will Rogers
I see by the papers that they say 'Germany is going insane.' I wish you could name me a nation that is competent of judging insanity.
Will Rogers
Imagine a man in public office that everybody knew where he stood. We wouldn't call him a statesman; we would call him a curiosity.
Will Rogers
Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. It's when they do something is when they get dangerous.
Will Rogers
The money we spend on government. And it's not a bit better government than we got for one-third the money two years ago.
Will Rogers
When an office holder, or one that has been found out, can't think of anything to deliver a speech on, he always falls back on the good old subject: AMERICANISM
Will Rogers
Even when our next war comes, we will through our shortsightedness not be prepared but that won't be anything fatal.
Will Rogers
The town with the cheapest land and most concrete can have the largest stadium.
Will Rogers
So much money is being spent on the campaigns that I doubt if either man, as good as they are, are worth what it will cost to elect them.
Will Rogers
In schools they have what they call intelligence tests. Well if nations held 'em I don't believe we would be what you would call a favorite to win it.
Will Rogers
There's the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign dealings are an open book. Generally a check book.
Will Rogers
No nation ever had two better friends than we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
Will Rogers
We would never understand why Mexico wasn't crazy about us. We have always had their goodwill, oil, coffee and minerals at heart.
Will Rogers
We don't seem to be able to even check crime. Why not legalize it and put a heavy tax on it. Make the tax for robbery so high that a bandit couldn't afford to rob anyone unless he had a lot of dough. We have taxed other industries out of business, it might work here.
Will Rogers
Congress has passed the big inheritance tax. That gets you when you're gone. I think it's a good law. You had had the use of the money during your lifetime, so turn it over to the government and they can do some darn fool things with it.
Will Rogers
Indians and primitive races were the highest civilized because they were more satisfied and they depended less on each other and took less from each other.
Will Rogers
The minute a fellow gets into the Chamber of Commerce, he quits mowing his own lawn.
Will Rogers
Lots of people in Europe wondered how America could train men so quickly. Well, when you only have to train them to go only one way you can do it in half the time.
Will Rogers
The best omen of international goodwill is that conferences are getting shorter. Now if they will do away with 'em entirely there will be no war.
Will Rogers
People talk peace but men give their life's work to war. It won't stop 'til there is as much brains and scientific study put to aid peace as there is to promote war.
Will Rogers
One thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.
Will Rogers
One good thing about European nations: they can't hate you so bad they wouldn't use you.
Will Rogers
There is only one sure way of stopping war, that is to see that every 'statesman' has the same chance to reflect after it's over that these boys making 'poppies' have had.
Will Rogers
Anybody whose pleasure is watching somebody else die is about as little use to humanity as the person being electrocuted.
Will Rogers
I can remember when a man could be considered respectable without belonging to a golf club.
Will Rogers
I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering the taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
Will Rogers
We have killed more people celebrating our independence than we lost fighting for it. We would celebrate the ending of each of our wars but we haven't got enough people to go around.
Will Rogers
We only have one or two wars in a lifetime. But we have three meals a day. When you have helped raise the standard of cooking then you would have raised the only thing in the world that matters.
Will Rogers
Well, they finally stopped us from sending marines to every war that we could hear of. They are having one in Afghanistan. The thing will be over before Congress can pronounce it, much less find out where it is located.
Will Rogers
When the big nations quit meddling then the world will have peace.
Will Rogers
No nation in the history of the world was ever sitting as pretty. If we want anything, all we have to do is buy it on credit. So that leaves us without any economic problem whatever, except perhaps some day to have to pay for them.
Will Rogers
The real energy and minds of the Normal Majority will step in and handle it and fight it through to a successful conclusion.
Will Rogers
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.
Will Rogers
We have it on the best of our information that taxes will be relieved, but not until after your death.
Will Rogers
A man in the country does his own thinking. Get him into town and he will be thinking second-handed.
Will Rogers
The good old days with most of us was when we didn't earn enough to pay an income tax.
Will Rogers
If nobody wants to disarm with us, we will show 'em we are right. We will shame 'em into it - if we have to sink our last life preserver to do it.
Will Rogers
When you get into trouble five thousand miles from home you've got to have been looking for it.
Will Rogers
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
Will Rogers
There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.
Will Rogers
I guess no individual ever invented can pass the buck as quick as a nation can.
Will Rogers
If Wall Street paid a tax on every 'game' they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on.
Will Rogers
The one way to detect a feeble-minded man is get one arguing on economics.
Will Rogers
One thing about farmers' relief: It can't last long, for the farmers ain't got much more to be relieved of.
Will Rogers
A gentleman quoted me on the floor the other day. Another member took exception and said he objected to the remarks of Professional Joke Maker going into the Congressional Record. They are the Professional Joke Makers. Read some of the bills that they have passed.
Will Rogers
No element, no party, not even Congress or the Senate can hurt this country now; it's too big. That's why I can never take a politician seriously.
Will Rogers
I have read all Presidential speeches on both sides up to now, and the winner is the man smart enough to not make any more. There is a great chance for a 'silent' third party.
Will Rogers
Democrats: you can't shame them into even dying. They would keep on living just to spite the Republicans.
Will Rogers
A lobbyist is a person that is supposed to help a politician make up his mind - not only help him but pay him.
Will Rogers
A smart state nowadays will appoint all their highwaymen from one place. Then one road will do all of 'em.
Will Rogers
There is very little dignity, very little sportsmanship, or very little anything in politics - only get the job and hold it.
Will Rogers
There has been war since the beginning of time and we are no smarter than the people that have gone before us. There is apt to be some more war.
Will Rogers
War talk in Europe has pretty near died out on account of no international conferences being held. They haven't got much chance of getting sore at each other.
Will Rogers
Headlines in the papers say: 'Europe criticizes U.S.' If memory serves me right we haven't complimented them lately ourselves.
Will Rogers
Nations are just like individuals. Loan them money and you lose their friendship.
Will Rogers
I don't care how little your country is, you got a right to run it like you want to.
Will Rogers
This open-door stuff is a lot of hooey. Any door is only open to those that have the best product at the cheapest money.
Will Rogers
An economist is a man that can tell you anything. His guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's, too.
Will Rogers
There is one rule that works in every calamity. Be it pestilence, war or famine, the rich get richer and poor get poorer. The poor even help arrange it.
Will Rogers
No nation has a monopoly on good things. Each one has something that the others could well afford to adopt.
Will Rogers
Big business don't go broke any more. The minute it looks bad for them, they combine with something else and issue more stock.
Will Rogers
Every nation must have its legalized form of gambling. We have our Wall Street.
Will Rogers
We'll hold the distinction of being the only nation in the history of the world that ever went to the poor house in an automobile.
Will Rogers
Don't make the first payment on anything. First payments is what made us think we were prosperous and the other nineteen is what showed us we were broke.
Will Rogers
The country is not where it is today on account of any man. It is here on account of the common sense of the big normal majority.
Will Rogers
Our public men take themselves so serious. It just looks like they are stoop-shouldered from carrying our country on their backs.
Will Rogers
Everybody is excited over who will win the election in Chicago. The side with the most machine guns will win it.
Will Rogers
It must be nice to belong to some legislative body and just pick money out of the air.
Will Rogers
The biggest praise that a humorist can have is to get your stuff in The Congressional Record. Just think, my name will be right alongside all those other big humorists.
Will Rogers
There should be a tax on every man that wanted to get a government appointment or be elected to office. In two years that tax alone would pay our national debt.
Will Rogers
A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he should always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any money but doesn't see why he shouldn't.
Will Rogers
About being a U.S. Senator, the only thing the law says you have to be is 30 years old. Not another single requirement. They just figure that a man that old got nobody to blame but himself if he gets caught there.
Will Rogers
I love animals and I love politicians. I like to watch both of 'em play either back home in their native state or after they have been captured and sent to a zoo or to Washington.
Will Rogers
